Discovering My Purpose
By Jean Anderson
The notification pops up on my computer with a quick “ding.” I look up expecting to see another ad or notification that a bill is due, instead I get a nice surprise. It is an email from a former coworker, Anna Hall.
Anna created something called a Purpose Equation. She is looking for people to work with her, six one hour slots, so that she can finalize the equation. I reread the email trying to figure out what a “Purpose Equation” could possibly be, wondering what else there is to know about myself and thinking that my purpose has been clear for most of my adult life: take care of my children and family, serve my community. My interest is piqued and my schedule has Covid laden openings. I decide to go for it.
The first experience is essentially a game. I answer questions similar to a game of “Would You Rather.” I leave the experience with a “Purpose Prescription,” asking me to walk or hike with friends at least two times this upcoming week. I am to notice how I feel when I am hiking and especially when I feel joy.
I schedule an extra hike with friends for the week. On the hikes I notice what feels good, the smells around me, how much I like the sound of shoes softly trodding on trails covered in pine needles, sunlight forcing its way on my shoulders through a giant stand of Ponderosa pine trees. I am not thinking about my Purpose on the hikes just taking in what fuels my soul.
The next few experiences involve reflection on what my core values are. I struggle to define and then create a hierarchy to express what is most meaningful to me. With this struggle comes clarity. With this clarity comes new found comfort and pride in myself as a person now and in the past. My character strengths are revealed midway through the experience and then we explore my personality traits. At each point of the way, I am deeply listened to, understood and even celebrated. I feel safe to explore emotions, positive and negative around traits that have gone unnoticed, or under appreciated.
I learn, essentially, how to deeply listen to myself. I also learn to pay attention to that voice, and take action to align myself with who I am, uniquely at my core.
The most difficult part of my equation might sound silly, but it offered me the most potential for growth. My greatest strength was humor. I was so disappointed. Of the twenty four strengths it could have been, strengths like bravery, leadership or perseverance, I get humor. I felt like a losing guest on The Price Is Right game show. I even heard that annoying trumpet loser sound when I first read that my greatest strength was humor.
On mountain treks with my two hiking friends, I process my thoughts, feet moving over rocks and boulders, mask free, breathing in the evergreen fueled air:
“Can you believe my greatest strength is humor,” I asked them. “ I almost cried when I talked to Anna about it.”
They pushed back, asking me why I was upset about humor being my strength. I explained, “I’ve always been funny. Everyone in my family is funny. People think I’m being funny and they don’t take me seriously.”
“What do you mean? People take you seriously. I take your advice all of the time.” This is from my tried and true friend of over twenty years.
And she is right. Among my friends I am valued and respected. It is when I step outside those who know me deeply that I think this humor thing is more of a liability.
What I don’t consciously perceive on the hike is that I am using what will become integral parts of my equation to navigate this experience: moving, connecting with friends, organizing my thoughts and creating a new way to understand my strengths. I feel differently about my top strength after processing it with friends.
I speak with Anna again, close to finalizing my formula for what makes me tick. I am given a gift. Through discussion I am able to see how humor has catapulted me through difficult experiences, people and situations. How this strength, which seemed so ordinary and boring to me, was actually a present. Humor is a gift to be appreciated and shared.
With my equation complete, I was able to identify specifically what I need to be in alignment with who I am. I need four things each day: Create, Connect, Organize, Move, as defined by me.
My Purpose Equation became clearer and clearer to me over the next few weeks while meeting with Anna and following her Purpose Prescriptions. I noticed and quantified what brought me joy and realized there were many things in my life that drained me. What became clear to me as I moved through the next weeks and months is that I could let go of much that drains me.
What I could not let go of I could balance out with moments of joy. Simple joy that I make myself. I find the balance with my four actions: Create, Connect, Organize, and Move. My day is enhanced and aligned if I fit each of these four actions into my life.
It is difficult to put into words how the experiences worked together, reframing my vision of myself and clarifying what fueled me in life and what drained me. I learned to say “no” to things that I felt I “should” do, opening the doors for what I actually want to do. The results of The Purpose Equation are huge, but the steps are deceptively simple. If you would like more information about The Purpose Equation for yourself or someone in your life, please contact us; discover@ThePurposeEquation.com
A special thanks to Morgan Hall and her online community: Humans on Being for bringing me to this moment in time.
